Ward Cleaver Moment

Remember on "Leave It To Beaver" how in almost every episode the boys would do something wrong and be afraid to tell their dad, so they would do something goofy to try and cover up the situation?  What kind of a Dad has kids that can't come to him and talk when they have a problem?

Over the weekend we took a little trip to Minneapolis.  We joined my brother-in-law and his family at a hotel/water park and we spent Saturday afternoon at the Mall of America.  My 8 year old son wanted to buy a plastic case for his Nintendo DS that had a little drawer that holds 3 games.  After several negotiation sessions, (including me saying "no" about 37 times) I gave in and let him buy it.  Neither of us noticed that is was actually a case for a Nintendo DSi...which meant that his DS did not actually fit in the case.  Once we got back to the hotel, it quickly became obvious that the case was not going to work out, but he would not admit defeat and said he could use it even if it didn't fit.  

"It's ok Daddy, I can use it without the lid."  

"It's ok if it falls out all the time."  

"I don't care that I can't use all the buttons."

Flash forward to today...after two days of pretending his new case was working out, he asks if he can whisper something in my ear.  I assume it is going to be the usual request for a bowl of pretzels or to call his friend to come over and play.  But as I walk over to him, I can tell something is wrong.  He seems upset.  As I bend down to listen, I can see tears in his eyes.  And here is where the punch to the stomach comes.  "Dad, promise you won't get mad?"

What?  I have made my son afraid to tell me something because he thinks I'll get mad.  That is not good.

"I want to return my DS case.  It doesn't fit."  He whispers as more tears come down his face.

Admittedly I want to say "I knew we shouldn't have bought that thing!!!!!"  But maybe that's why he's crying.  That's what he is afraid I will say.  And that is what makes him cry as he talks to me.  He is afraid of me yelling or making him feel worse.

"Sure, we can try and take it back."  That wasn't so hard.  Maybe I need to do a little better job paying attention to how I am reacting and what I am saying to my kids.  I guess they are paying attention and remembering.  

I don't want to have any more Ward Cleaver moments.

The boy is learning.

Yesterday at my son's school, it was Quick Shop day.  The Quick Shop is a fund raiser where the kids can bring in money and buy a few cheap little things like pencils, erasers, silly bands, etc.  I asked Andrew what he wanted and he told me he just needed five dimes to buy five erasers.  So I found some dimes, put them in a plastic bag and sent them to school in his backpack.
After school, I asked him if he got his erasers.  He told me, "No, I gave my money to a girl."

Smart boy.

Random Stay-At-Home-Dad thoughts for today.

Saw a new Wiggles DVD at Target yesterday.  Murray is not aging well.

When I get my haircut  in the middle of the day on a weekday, I dread when the lady cutting my hair asks if I have the day off.  I have most days off,  she doesn't need to rub it in.

Had my son and our puppy in the living room together for the first time today, and nobody (neither boy nor dog) freaked out and ran out of the room.  That's progress!

I like that my son is a morning person....but today he was a little too much of a morning person.  Had to bite my tongue and not tell him to just leave me alone while I have my oatmeal.

I like doing laundry.

I wonder if I'll ever tell anyone about this blog other than my wife (Hi Becky!).  I'm not sure there's anything here that would interest anyone else.

Cereal for lunch again today.  And that's not a bad thing.

Gummy worms and table scraps are the enemy.

Two thoughts today...two things they don't tell you about in the Dad Handbook.

Thought #1:  Gummy Worm as pet?

The other day, I innocently let my daughter buy a bag of gummy worms.  When she had eaten all but one of the, she announced she was naming that last worm Bob and keeping it forever.  I, being the uninformed Dad that I am, laughed and told her that was silly.  

My daughter cried.

That night at bedtime I found her in her bed, petting it and telling it how much she loved it.  I laughed again.

My daughter cried.

Luckily my wife's Mom Handbook must have included a section emotional attachment to snack food.  She handled it so much better than I did.  After a few minutes, she had our daughter believing that "Bob" was excited to be eaten at breakfast the next morning.  This fantasy went on:  Bob could not stop dancing with excitement and needed to be reminded to turn his music down so that everyone could get to sleep. 

My daughter laughed.

My wife is a genius.

And the next morning at breakfast, guess what happened.  My daughter ate "Bob" with her Eggos.

Thought #2: I am a Table Scrap Junkie

I don't consider myself to be overweight (despite being told otherwise by our Wii Fit), but when seen without my shirt on, I do kind of resemble a snake digesting a beach ball.  I carry all my extra weight right in the tummy.  So I could stand to lose a few pounds and I've been working to do that.  What I've discovered after a few weeks of actually paying attention to what I eat, is that I eat just as much food cleaning up after a meal as I did while sitting at the table.  

My son left half a cheeseburger on his plate - I'd polish it off.

The daughter didn't eat all of her meatloaf - I'll take that.

Breadsticks, bowls of soup, ice cream, pizza crusts, corn dog scraps - all find their way to my stomach on their way to the trash.

Nobody warned me about this.  And I need help.

I am a table scrap junkie.

Today, I caught myself standing over the garbage can with a handful of McDonald'd fries.  I yelled for my wife and she calmly talked me down, and took them from me and threw them away.  She also took the rest of the food from me before I could get my mouth on it.  

I need help.

I hope the next time I'm cleaning up after a meal and she isn't there to lean on, I can be strong when the half eaten ham and cheese sandwich is calling to me.

My gut is depending on it.

There's no limit on the things we'll do

Tim Finn has many songs that make me wish I played guitar and could write songs.  But I especially enjoy Out Of This World.  See the video below for a good simple "Dad" video.

Tim Finn - Out Of This World

It's the little things

Today was a half day of school so I had to pick the kids up at 11:30.  Usually they walk about 2 blocks to Grandma and Grandpa's house and I meet them there.  But because of the below zero temp today, I decided to pick them up right outside school.  Allison was all smiles as she climbed in the car.  "I love little surprises like this!"   

Change of plans

So originally, I created this blog page as a place to put the stories I had written about a stay-at-home-dad and his kids.  I figured if I put them out on the web, a publisher would stumble across them and offer me huge piles of money for the rights to them.  A movie deal would shortly follow, and I'd be set.

But.....

Now I'm thinking that I may use this blog as a place to occasionally log some thoughts about my life as a pretend stay-at-home-dad.  I use the word "pretend" because both of my kids are now in school full time, so most of the year, I'm not really home with them much at all.  Summer and snow days, I'm still needed, but beyond that, not so much.  So I work part-time at Target.  Partly to help out with income, but mostly so I have a place to go and something to do.  It's amazing how lonely you can get when you're home with your kids and they aren't there.

So anyway, I'm going to give this blog a try.  Who knows how it will evolve and how often I'll write something.  

For now, it's back to watching iCarly.

Bike Ride

One day, a dad and his two kids decided to go for a bike ride.  Both kids, one girl and one boy, had new bikes and were ready to try them out.  They had already gone for rides up and down their street, but today they were going for a long ride on the bike trail across town.  So first they had to load everything into the van.

“Daddy, can we bring some snacks?” asked the daughter.

“Sure,” answered the dad.  “What should we bring?  Carrots?  Granola bars?”

“Cookies!” shouted the son.

“And chips!” suggested the daughter.

“I’ll get some water bottles and some apples,” said the dad.  “You guys go find your helmets.”

The kids ran out to the garage but soon were back in the kitchen.

“DAD! She hid my helmet!” the son was screaming.

“He said my bike was girly!” whined the daughter.

The dad took a deep breath.  “But aren’t you a girl?” he asked.

“Yes, but my bike isn’t.  It’s COOL,” she answered sweetly.

“Okay, give him back his helmet so we can go.”

All of them walked back to the garage.  The dad tossed the backpack with the water and apples into the van and went to help find all the helmets.

“Did you bring the cookies?” asked the son.

“Just apples.  I think they will work best for us today.”

“Maybe some chips too?” the daughter suggested.

“I don’t think the chips will fit in the backpack,” the dad said.

“I can carry them in my basket,” she smiled pointing to the basket attached to the front of her bike.

“Nope, not today,” the dad told her. “Does everybody have everything they need?” he asked as they climbed into the van.

“Yes Daddy,” both kids answered.  But when the dad noticed his son’s feet with socks and no shoes, he asked them again.

“Yes Daddy, we’re ready. Let’s go!”

“What about shoes?” the dad asked quietly.

“Oops,” the son jumped back out of the van and ran back into the house.  He was quickly back carrying his shoes.

Just as the dad turned the key to start the engine, the daughter jumped out of the van and ran inside the house.

“What now?” thought the dad to himself, glancing at his watch.

She was back in a few seconds wearing her pink sunglasses.

Finally they were all three in the car, buckled, and ready to go.

The dad drove to the parking lot at the start of the bike trail.

As they were unloading the bikes from the back of the van, the daughter asked, “Is it time for a snack yet?”

“Let’s ride a little way down the trail first,” suggested the dad.

“I get to be in front!” yelled the son as he jumped on his bike and took off down the path.

“Daddy, make him wait,” whined the daughter.  It always took her a little longer to get started.

“We’re not racing,” said the dad.  “Let’s just take our time and enjoy....”

“WAIT FOR US!” she interrupted, yelling at her brother.  And off she sped toward him along the trail. 

“...the nice weather,” the dad said to himself.

By now both kids were quite a bit in front of the dad, who didn’t even have his helmet on yet, so he hurried to catch up.

The three of them rode along the winding trail through trees and over a small wooden bridge across a stream. “Snack time?” the daughter yelled over her shoulder.

“Maybe when we get to the park,” was the dad’s answer.

After a couple of minutes they came to the park.  There was a shelter with picnic tables and a small playground.

They all parked their bikes and while the kids ran to the playground, the dad unpacked the water bottles and apples at one of the tables.

“Snacks are ready,” he yelled to them as they were climbing up the slide.

“In a minute.”

“Not yet.”

So the dad sat down by himself and started eating his apple while he watched his kids play.

After several minutes, he walked over to the playground.  “Ready to go home?” he asked.

His daughter didn’t answer, she just ran to the picnic table and found her apple.

“Daddy,” the son started,  “can you go get the car?  I don’t want to ride my bike anymore.”

“Sorry Buddy, we all have to ride back to the car.”

“But I’m so tired,” whined the son.

“Come eat your apple and drink some water and rest a bit.  You’ll be okay,” the dad encouraged.

The son walked very slowly to the picnic table.

“Where are the cookies?” he asked.

“Just apples,” was the dad’s answer.

“Just apples,” mumbled the son as he gulped down some water.

Eventually, they all put their helmets back on and climbed back on their bikes.  They rode, much slower than before, back towards the car.  Several times the dad had to stop and wait for them to catch up.

Finally they made it back to the parking lot and found their van.  As they loaded the bikes into the back of the van, the dad asked, “Who wants to stop for some ice cream on the way home?”

“WE DO!”

“YES!”

The Zoo

“Let’s go Daddy!  Time to go, Daddy!” 

The Dad was just sitting down to read the newspaper when both of his kids came running into the kitchen.

“We love the zoo!”  they were both shouting.

“The zoo...was that today?” the dad wondered as he looked over at the calendar on the refrigerator.

“Okay,” he said.  “Does everybody have their sunscreen on?”

“Yes Daddy,” said the daughter.  “Now you put some on.”  She handed him the bottle and they all headed out to the car.

“Daddy, can we see the alligators first?” asked the son.  “They have such big teeth.”  He opened his mouth wide and growled.

“No!  I want to watch the otters first, “ cried the daughter.  “They are so cute!”

“Relax, there will be time for everything,” the dad answered.

“Daddy, remember that big snake?” asked the daughter.

The dad did remember.  The last time he had taken his kids to the zoo they had gone to see a “meet the animals” show.  The zoo keeper had invited him up to touch the snake, but he had been too nervous to do it.  Both of his kids touched it and loved it and had not let him forget about the incident. 

“I hope that snake is safely behind glass,” the dad laughed.

As they pulled into the parking lot and drove around looking for a place to park, the kids listed their favorite animals.

“The otter...and the puma...and the goats,” said the daughter.

“The fish...and the monkeys...and the alligator,” listed the son.

“Everybody stay with me,” the dad said as they got out of the car.  They walked across the parking lot and up to the ticket window.

“We love the zoo!”  The kids yelled at the girl behind the counter.

“Have a fun day,” she told them as she handed the tickets and map of the zoo to the dad.

They headed through the front gate past the gift shop and snack bar.

“Daddy!  Can we get ice cream?” both kids yelled.

“Not now,” the dad answered.  “You  just had breakfast an hour ago.”

“But I’m starving!” yelled the son.

“Maybe later,” said the dad.  “Where should we go first?”  As soon as he said those words, he wished he had not.

“The otter!” shouted the daughter.

“The alligator! shouted the son.

Of course those two exhibits were at opposite ends of the zoo.

“Okay,” the dad paused to think.  “How about we start out this way, since the alligator is closer?”

“Yeah!” responded the son.

“But what about the otter,” whined the daughter, her head and shoulders drooping.

“We’ll get there, don’t worry,” the dad told her.

They headed down the path toward the alligator.  The daughter walking slowly behind, while the son ran up ahead.

They made their way past the raccoons and badgers, the peacocks and parrots, the fish tanks and lizards, and finally to the alligators.

“Careful there, buddy, “ the dad said as he grabbed the back of his son’s shirt.  The son had climbed way up on the railing to get a closer look.

“Look at all those teeth!” the son pointed excitedly.

“Are you coming, sweetie?” the dad asked his daughter as she slowly walked up to the alligator exhibit.  She was still looking sad because they hadn’t seen the otters yet.

“We’ll head to the otters next,” the dad said.

“Come on, let’s go!” she yelled excitedly.

“But Dad, I’m not done yet,” the son yelled.

“Two more minutes, then we’ll see the otter and maybe get some ice cream.”

“Ice cream!” both kids shouted.

That was enough to get the son’s mind off the alligators, as both kids started running up the path.

“Wait for me,” the dad said as he hustled to keep up.

They passed the porcupine, the bobcat, the pumas and the giraffes.

When they got to the otter exhibit, there was quite a crowd watching the animals.

“I can’t see them, Daddy” the daughter whined.

“Just wait your turn.  We’ll get a chance,”  he told her.

After several minutes, the crowd moved on, and they got their chance to get up close to the otters.

The three of them stood for quite a while watching the two otters swim back and forth in the pond.  Every couple of minutes, one would get out of the water and run up the little path to a tree on the edge of the exhibit, go around the tree, and scamper back to the pond.  The otters repeated the pattern over and over.

The dad and his kids watched until the son remembered what his dad had said.

“Let’s go get the ice cream now!” he shouted as he started running toward the main building.

“Hold on buddy...wait for us,” the dad said as he pulled the daughter away from the otters.

Just as they reached the main zoo building where the ice cream stand was, the dad noticed his son searching for something in his pockets.

“What are you looking for?” the dad asked.

“My dinosaur car!” the son said nervously.  “I can’t find it.”

“Why did you bring that?  Where is it?  When did you have it?” the dad blurted out all at once.

“I don’t know,” the son answered as tears started down his face.  “I had it when we got out of the car.”

The dad knew there was no way they could go home without that dinosaur car.  They had to find it.

“Okay, let’s go look,” the dad said.

“But I want ice cream,” whined the daughter.

“We have to find his car first,” said the dad.  “We’ll get ice cream on our way out.”

So back they went...past the otter, the giraffes, the pumas and the bobcats, the lizards and the fish tanks, the parrots and the peacocks, the badgers and the raccoons.  No sign of the dinosaur car.

They walked slowly back up toward the main building and sat down on a bench.  The dad was not sure where to look next.  The son was crying because he had lost his car.  The daughter was crying because she wanted ice cream.

“Hey, I was hoping I would see you,” came a voice from behind them.  It was the girl from the ticket counter.  “You left this on my table this morning.”  She held out her hand and was holding the dinosaur car!

“YES!” shouted the son.

“YES!” shouted the dad.

“ICE CREAM!” shouted the daughter.

As they drove home, enjoying their ice cream cones, the kids chattered happily about pumas, alligators, otters, and dinosaur cars.  They asked the dad when he could take them again, and listed all the things they would do the next time they went to the zoo.

“I need a nap,” the dad whispered to himself.

Swimming Lessons

“Daddy, it’s time for you to take me to swimming lessons,” his son yelled as he ran into the room.  The dad was sitting on the couch half reading the newspaper and half napping.

The dad sighed and took one last look at the sports page.  “Okay,” he said.  “I wasn’t getting much read anyway.”

He took his son by the hand and they headed out to the car.

The son loved swimming lessons.  He had just moved up from the “minnow” class and now was in “dolphin” class with the big kids.  He was excited because today they were going to learn how to swim the backstroke.  He wanted to show that off the next time he went swimming with his mommy and sister.

They climbed into the car and started down the street.  The son knew the way to the pool:  four stop signs, turn right, past the giant flag pole, down the hill and turn left into the parking lot.

Just as they started to get out of the car at the pool, the son asked, “Daddy, where is my swim suit?”

“Oh no!” shouted the dad.  “Get back in the car!”

They drove home (much quicker than before) up the hill, past the giant flag pole, turn left, four stop signs (the son noticed they didn’t really stop at any of them) and into the driveway.

The dad ran into the house.  There, just inside the front door, was the bag with the swim suit, a towel and a pair of goggles.  He grabbed the bag and ran back to the car.

They sped off one more time toward the pool.

As they ran into the locker room, the dad looked at his watch.  “We’ve got three minutes until your lesson starts.  Get changed fast,”  he said to his son.

But when the dad opened a locker and sat down on the bench next to it, the son was not beside him as he should have been.

“Daddy, look at this!”  the son shouted from across the locker room.  He was over by the automatic hand dryers and had turned one so that it was pointing up and it was blowing into his face.

“That’s great,” the dad said, trying to be encouraging yet forceful.  “Now get over here and change!”

With one last push of the button to start the dryer, the son ran over to the locker.

Eventually, after stopping to tell his dad all about the worm he had discovered on the playground at school, he had his swim suit on and was ready for his lesson.

They walked out of the locker room just as the instructor was calling for the dolphin class.

Off the son ran to join his class, while the dad looked for a place to sit.  He thought maybe he could get some more of the newspaper read while he waited.

Just as the dad was getting out the paper, he heard a familiar voice yelling, “DADDY!  I NEED TO GO POTTY!”  The son was quickly trotting toward him from the pool.

“Oh my goodness,” sighed the dad.  “We should have gone before class.”  He took his son’s hand as they scurried back to the locker room.

A few seconds later they walked back out to the pool, finally ready for the lesson.

The dad sat back down, took out his paper and began to read.  As he read, he heard the teacher giving the class instructions, and the giggling and splashing of the students.  

Before he knew what had happened, the lesson was over and his wet, shivering son stood in front of him.  The dad wrapped the towel around him and they headed to the locker room.

After hearing more about the worm on the playground, and more playing with the automatic dryers, the son was eventually dry and changed and ready to go home.

“How was the backstroke?” the dad asked as they buckled themselves in the car.

“Awesome!” cheered the son.  “I can’t wait to show Mommy!”

The son chattered away as they drove home: up the hill, past the giant flag pole, turn left, four stop signs and into the driveway.  As soon as the car stopped he jumped out and ran into the house.

The dad slowly got out of the car and walked back into his office.  He took out his newspaper and sat down to read.  But his mind was filled with pictures of worms, dolphins, hairdryers, and stop signs.  

The dad decided to take a nap.