People, Silence, Pizza and Apologies

I had to apologize to my daughter the other day.

I was dropping her off at Driver's Ed class (which is a whole other scary subject that I could spend time writing about...not that she's going to be a bad driver, but that I'm old enough to have a daughter that drives.) where was I....

I was dropping her off at Driver's Ed class and we were talking about how there are a handful of kids in the class she sort of knows, but none of her close friends are in the class.  She told me how they all sit silently on the floor in the hallway before class and nobody talks to each other.  I told her that was silly, that she should say "Hi" to somebody and get the conversation started.  She told me she would try to at least smile at somebody, but she wasn't sure she could break the silence.

At the time, I did not understand. Why didn't she want to talk to people.  She's a very friendly person. Gets along with everybody.  Has lots of friends.  Seemed weird to me that she wouldn't talk to them.

I think there were two or three days where I playfully (at least it was playful in my head, hopefully she did not take it as me commanding her to do something) encouraged her to talk to the others in the hallway.  But every day when I picked her up, the silence had gone unbroken.


On Wednesday nights, we have confirmation class at our church.  Our kids are in class, and my wife and I are volunteer parent table guides.  Before class, everybody gathers for pizza.

On one particular recent Wednesday night, I found myself standing with my plate of pizza in a corner of the room.  I wasn't sitting with people at a table...just standing there by myself.  Not wanting to talk to anyone.  I just wasn't in the mood to be social.  I just wanted to stand there, by myself, and not talk to anyone.  Even though I was in a room of people I knew, and I'm a friendly guy.  Just leave me alone with my pizza.

That night when we got home, I apologized to my daughter for pushing her earlier in the week.

And now I'm trying to figure out why I gave that advice in the first place.
I'm not one that strikes up conversations with people.
I am comfortable with silence.
Why couldn't I let her be the same way?
Why was it so important for me that she not sit with people and not talk to them?
I still haven't figured it out.

My kids are very awesome young people...
Sometimes I just need to get out of the way and let them be themselves.