These thoughts have been swirling around in my head for the last several days. I have no answers, only questions. I write them here just to see if expressing them brings any new perspective.
A few days ago, our community lost another teenager to suicide. Another. This would be horrifying enough as an isolated case...but it isn't. Not even close. Another?!?!?
How do we keep failing so many kids?
I hear two opposing views on kids and parenting:
Kids today face more pressure than ever before. Social media, year round sports, grades, jobs, scholarships...all these are making our kids stressed out way too soon. They don't have a chance to be kids.
Kids today are coddled by helicopter parents and never given a chance to fail. They are soft and spoiled.
How can these both be true? Every child is different and deserves their own middle ground on the scale between the world asking too much or too little from them.
How can we encourage without pressuring? Support without coddling? Let them fail without them feeling abandoned?
I don't have the answers.
I have no idea if I'm doing it right with my own kids.
I pray that I am.
I pray that we all are.
In a funeral sermon for young man who ended his own life a month after his high school graduation, I tried to reflect on two different sides of the same anguished attitude: "We're angry with you because you let us down. Why didn't you let us into your world? Why didn't you let us help? Why didn't you tell us what you were dealing with." And "We're angry and so guilt ridden because we let you down. Why didn't we see what was happening? Why weren't we more sensitive? Why didn't we love you enough?" No easy answers, but I have no doubt that you're doing it right with your kids.
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