When my dad died a few months ago, it became obvious to me (as I suppose I knew all along) that people remember how you treat them. They don’t remember your stuff….your car, your money, or even your job. Of course those lines are blurred with him since his job was a pastor, but that was really more about who he was, not just what he did. People were touched by how he remembered their name after not seeing them for years. How he took a genuine interest in their lives. How he went out of his way to support people at running events. How he made people feel seen, important and loved.
People are what’s important.
Also since my dad died, I find myself more and more wanting to avoid people. Stay home…and when I do go out, I want to avoid talking to people…isolate from the outside world. If not for my wife and my job, I would sit alone in my house all day.
I’m trying to mesh those two ideas. The importance of people and relationships vs. my comfort level around them. I do try to treat people with kindness, but I also want them to leave me alone. I want people to feel important and loved, but from a safe distance.
Also, as much as I’ve worried about my job defining me over the years, I will have failed if I am only remembered as a great computer programmer…bank teller…call center representative…retail associate…loan servicer….or even Stay-at-home Dad.
