This may turn into one long ramble...but stay with me and we'll see where we end up...and I'm sorry if I get too churchy...
This has nothing to do with kids, or stay-at-home parenting, but I've written before about how I've had a hard time with how to define myself since I quit my "real" job. And how I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
While I have a decent job now, bank teller is not my final destination. A couple of weeks ago, a job opportunity came up that seemed like a great fit for me. I applied, talked to some people, and let myself think it was going to happen. But then came the "thanks but no thanks" email...which led to self doubt...and me on Saturday morning praying....and saying things like "I don't even know who I am."
I don't go to church every Sunday. Mostly because I am lazy. It is hard enough to get the family up and going during the week, sometimes we let that go on Sunday mornings. For the most part, I am comfortable with my faith...even though I would have trouble expressing exactly what I believe. Last Sunday, we all got up and went. On the surface it was so the kids could check one more sermon note off the confirmation requirement list....but now I think it was for me.
During the sermon, the pastor talked about identity....and he asked if we ever question who we are or let ourselves be defined by our jobs. He was talking to me. ( I mean really...was he in my bathroom the day before listening to my whiny prayer?) He explained that our identity comes from our relationship with God....a relationship that is very one-sided....nothing we do can change that relationship. It all comes from Him.
So here I am today...still working at a bank....still looking for somewhere else to be the next stop on my career journey....but not asking who I am.
